What cuts deep as a knife.....I think I have forgiven but I seem to be relapsing

-I borrowed money kuSisi (ndacofa, oOKuhle, Thula) engenayo ngo Jan 2023 ndileqa eSandton.

-I had no data.

-I had to drive in crazy speed to be on time and share what the Lord bestowed on me about Timothy the servant of the Lord.

-Shared the Word powerfully, then jikijiki cabinet re-shuffle without knowledge or consultation.

-Sudden relegations and demotions

-I humble myself and take the new position and MA SAYS NOBA BENDINGEZANGA

-That I do not support her in ministry ngoba kungengo Papa ngoba she is a woman

-When I said I am taking the position of mentoring girls kwathiwa ndibusy. I must say when I am not busy..............it felt like my services are not needed

-Told Ma ngendlu eVaal no response

-Kwakhona iindaba ezinkulu about the building yaseRoodeport nengxabano nemiscommunication

-This was just suddenly, all these changes

-Ma waxolisa kuThixo hayi kum, I was shuttered not by the apology I did not receive but the efforts that were undermined

-It felt like I was in the marriage alone now of which I know I was never not loved by Ma. All of a sudden there was some information Ma knew about me but I have been that transparent, that protective and that respectful

-Serving makes me feel so closer to God, it just confirms my lifelong covenant

-I felt torn into peace's after that Sandton meeting, yayingathi ndiyabhubha struu

-Noba into ayithathelwa ngqalelo I would take Ma's side because I really believe in her leadership

-It felt like I was in the marriage alone now of which I know I was never not loved by Ma. All of a sudden there was some information Ma knew about me but I have been that transparent, that protective and that respectfulG

-The Holy Ghost said I must have mercy and the Ps wase Hope spoke from the heart of God.

-Sis Ntuthu, Sis Nosi, Sis Esther, Kuhle, Mbali supported

-I chose to forgive, Ps Hlophe said sometimes there is a Spirit behind

-Accusations koSisi Sasa no Mam Mazibuko being sudden enemies now at church. I think we should always engage and iron out our problems rather than isolate people with different opinions. I feel like sons are allowed to suggest something even if it will not be taken than to vehemently treat that faithful son as an enemy.

-That is where we are wrong

-Another thing endidikayo yile weakness yokubiza a Pastor from afar to cement our cracks kodwa ephiwe one sided view yebali ibengathi ngoku we do not know our positions as sons, sometimes I feel like at will we are illegitimised and isolated just to make us feel the void and emotional distress.

-I believe we should talk things out sibe nezadifferences zinembeko singabonani as enemies now with one side of the story being glorified

-I was so hurt when I could not eat during the Passover Friday

-Saturday I resolved to serve aloof. Picked up kids. Took umnikelo not expecting anything. unfollowed the church facebook page. After there was no picture of me there as an MC, reciprocation from the Church. I was so hurt nangoku kushunyayelwayo I was so hurt. Understood when Pastors were given curtesy yokutya

-I was still hurt and I cried.

-Today 09/04/2023 I woke up light. I think I have forgiven. The patterns are clear. I chose to serve you Lord faithfully. Whatever forgivenace is I chose to forgive.

-I forgive even the taking without reciprocation session. I forgive it.

-I forgive what the other son did to Mama

-I forgive iintlebo zabazalwane!!