Sometimes happiness is having victory over the hostile environment at work!!

Blessed is the people who's God is the Lord!!

GOD MY FATHER FIGHT FOR PHATHISWA (FIGHT FOR ME) ....... I AM YOUR CHILD FIGHT FOR ME!!

No one is going to fight for me except God and that I stand up and fight strategically!!

MY VISION OF ME DURING THIS TRIAL

- I am smart, bright and clever

- In this beautiful journey, I am developing brave

- I will pray every time for my emotional tank and stability

- My greatest strength is prayer, fitness and God.....I should myself totally to that

- I will go down memory lane of the victories I have with God at work....where I re-channelled my energy and emotions and I got positive results.

- WHAT GOOD CAME OUT OF MOMENTUM

- I was hired within 3 months of the learnership before any other intern and I was given a year contract.

- Helen said I will be the most successful intern....and she was right!! I am the most influential.

- Isabel Almedia invested so much in me and Bheki Mdakane

- That experience as much as it was uncomfortable but it launched me to a great career of specialism which is being an Accountant.

- I met the crazy but wonderful and supportive Ditsheo (we've been friends for 14 years and breaks inbetween and I stood up for myself).

- I trained Matome (who had an engineering semi- finished qualification) and he was a sweetheart to Nadia because he was no threat.

-WHAT DID I NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER

-Nadia hating me (Because Isabel loved me and invested in me and they were still in the same building and the same team).

- Nadia (Muslim) did not have Grade 12, Isabel (English) has an MBA and Sannette (Afrikaans) had a UNISA Bcom and a farm in Brits (she gave a job to that lady that had trouble at home (speaks to more inferiority complex and low self esteem to Nadia around her education and management skills that I could not help her with).

- Isabel would find me teams to sit in and Nadia would set me up for failure every time without teaching me anything. She once took my management accounts to Toyota Trustees wabuya ekhomba imigca blaming me for everything and never took accountability.

-She never invested in any of her team's growth instead it was her teams were so disempowered and unprotected while Sashi and Isabel's teams we so empowered and she wanted no one to speak to Elsie.

- Her teams were always her skieves who were always scared for their lives and who were not growing at all academically and those ladies were not ambitious at all.

- I once bought her a watch ukuzicengezela. A beautiful art watch but still she terminated my contract.

- Nadia triangulated with those Muslim and Indian IT (I doubt those people were educated) guys who would accuse me of not processing the interest and bank charges correctly kodwa ibe ibanking system ingasebenzi and they were "good and trusted kuIsabel because they had two faces".

- I was given to Suresh (also Grade 12 and long years as a bookkeeper) to train me laa Tata gave a spreadsheet that was not going to be used in anything (speaks to more inferiority complex and low self esteem to Suresh around his education and management skills that I could not help him with)

- IF I STAYED AT MOMENTUM WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

-No growth, people who were there were not really qualified in anything but it was just people who were hanging on their jobs for life.

- My career would have died, so it was enough to get the "Assistant Accountant" experience on my CV to launch me.

- WHAT CAN I TAKE FROM THIS

- I was never late nor sick at work.

- I always dressed up and I caught the 5am bus from Soweto or 6am Train.

- I was always hungry to learn and I always stood my ground

- There is nothing you can do to help a narcissist.

- They have never dealt about their fragile ego's.

- The worst to engage with them as if they are normal.

- Narcisit people are not normal in any sense of the word ngamageza and have hell of emotions brewing in them.

- NgoNanana, NgoMadayisi, NgoTebogo so akhonto ongayithetha nabo.

- Bayiproject ka Thixo ye victory and humiliation on their side.

- I cannot fight what the Lord sees no further continuity in no matter how comfortable and how scary the change is.

- God is not dumb.

- WHAT WAS GOD'S TAKE ON THIS

- He allowed that job to end because there was no growth at all

- The company closed down and was swallowed back to Centurion the following year

- It was a total Afrikaans environment subsequent to that

WHAT WAS MY PRAYER

- Lord I pray for a job on what I studied for. I got it will the drama but it set the tone for my career and I sacrificed that job from Investec even though it was well paying. It was a financial administrator role not an Accounting specialist role.

-I would have not been an Accounting lecturer today if I chose and Malume was right.

- WHAT GOOD CAME OUT OF SA QUANTUM

- Abe was a lovely boss who cared about peoples's wellbeing.

- Thobedzo cared about my growth, training and development, deeply cared.

- He stood for what was right more than popularity when I was abused by Biance and I did not retaliate.

- I passed the Masakhane audit and I got the TB to balance single handedly with God when Leornado dissappeared without a trace.

- Always fixed my errors before they were problems and I paid on time.

- Met Ousi Pali, Bethel, Tumi, Ousi Dimakatso Moshatane, Mandisa and Unathi

- Never late at work

- Never sick

- Very reliable and took the late bus

-WHAT DID I NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER

- Leornado was not threatened by me (he had Grade 12 and he was Mozambican) Mam Jane picked it in the Spirit and the Lord confirmed it. (I could not be apologetic for my education and his low self esteem and inferiority complex).

WHAT I VOW TO DO

- I will pour out my heart to God, fast and pray (every hour) for myself not this situation.

- I will not fear.

- I will reflect on my past victories with the Lord at work and at home

- I will be conquered mentally or give my mind to this I blatantly refuse

- I will prayers daily from intercessors for myself not the situation. The situation does not deserve my energy but Phathiswa needs all the prayers and support she can get.

- I expect to be protected by no one except God lest they say they made me.

- Let all the victory belong to God but no man even me.

- I will fight any negative emotion and I will force myself to wake up and rise nokuba kubuhlungu kangakanani na the Bertha way of showing up strong the following day

- I vow to rise up no matter how many times I fall. This war is not about me at all.

- The Lord will use this for His good and my good to expose people's true hearts and intentions and defeat at the end.

- I will be gentle and patient with myself in my growth and academia

- I vow not ukufuna ukusizelwa

- I vow to go to the gym daily and take theraphy

- I will not develop any chronic or disease pshyically or mentally or disability out of this

- I will not disengage no matter the backlash

- I will always reflect

- I vow not to take the stress out of my daughter

- I will not give this situation any of my precious emotional resources (every person involved in this and the system are broken vehicles, no amount of fuel I pour to the tank will make this vehicle move).

- I will not fight with Beitske nor Pieter no matter how wicked and back biting they are.

- I will not fight with Mohammed no Magriet and the University bonana no Tebogo. Ngamageza lawa anelow self esteem. Bazolwa bodwa mna andizi however I will firmly and strictly stand my ground in peace.

- I will focus and partner with my students when it comes to their passing and growth even beyond the classroom qha. I love students.

- I close all admin and teaching loops to the best of my ability with God being my helper.

- I will keep my fire and commitment no matter what and I will fight for that to be preserved.

MY VISION OF ME AT THE END OF THIS TRIAL

Happiness, strong and a brave Spirit