18.03.2024
My Father really loves me. I can't have pride around Him. He really wants me. He has freed me from diluted thoughts.
He has postponed judgement towards me. So practising self-love according to how God loves me I need look at areas where my Father has postponed judgement for me but mina I still judge myself strong and hard.
JUDGEMENTS TO POSTPONE.
Performing to gain love and attention. I chose to serve out Love because I am already loved by my Father and I love myself according to the ways of God.
Being hard on myself based on the strings of failed relationship, marriage I had. Sexual and non-sexual. It is just perfect to be single and enjoy God.
Falling short of marriages. It is really okay not to be married. I lack nothing. I am complete in my Father. It is the ex's who were pigs who could not receive the pearl.
Criticing myself as a bad mother because I forgot immunisation compared to Ntokozo, Sis Tracy and Sis Nosi. Look I am doing exceedingly well. Our Father trusts me with Fefe. I see myself as a great mother and Fefe enjoys me.
23.03.2024 Meaning of setting foot
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24.03.2024
1 Cor 13
I fought to meditate today. I delegated transcription to two wonderful students. Delegation is a strength from my Father. Jethro's advise to Moses. The enemy attacked the blessing over my work. So I did not exercise well Sat, Sunday and I did not eat well. I went on a spending spree. But I slept, I got healed from a broken childhood demon. Took my family for a swim and lunch. I forgive myself for not exercising well and going on a spending spree. I did not boast about the ACCS111 hooray. I did not dishonour myself with any suicidal thoughts. It was revealed that anyone led by enemy to do that is no different a rapist or murder. We can't take life because the enemy promises us a false sense of peace. For the first time I was not hard on myself when I was being investigated. I watched a movie. Called a few friends to laugh if off because I meditated 6 hours Saturday. I eat the Word first. I went church with commitment and understanding. I spoke of the efforts and the wisdom the Lord has blessed me with. I forgive myself for careless spending. I did not travel up and down this weekend. I slept a lot and meditated.
I prayed to God my Father to teach me how to love myself as he has loved me.
PART 02
Lord I accept your love emotionally, mentally, physically and in every sense.
I forgive the people that stole my cars. I know Father you have dealt hard and strong with them. I will find out one sidenge when they confess to those who care to tell me. I release the humilation and the shame. It is the enemy intimidated by my cars servanthood. But my father has returned a 100 fold. I repent from the mindset of performance.
26.03.2024
God speaks to his children. Our sons continue the work we do in the Lord. Joshua and Eliezer. Rebellion against God can delay up to 40 years. God means his punishment when tired. God promoted Joshua based on the faith (the confidence) Joshua had on God.
The grasshopper report that the other spies reported was true in the practical was true in a practical sense however it was not true in the actual sense and it was not true it was also true in their psychological sense but it was not true in the Bible fact in the Bible truth because God had already blessed Israel so the blessing was irrevocable so when when Joshua like the blessings of God upon my life they're irrevocable so the so when Joshua expressed that let's take this all at once the Lord has given it to us it was the confidence Joshua had Joshua had a great confidence in God and then he was part of the new generation that conquered the lands because of the confidence so I as parties were I have confidence in the Lord and his mighty hand.
I think Joshua didn't care didn't even have time to imagine how the other people saw him all he just knew if the Lord is spoken it settles it that's what he stayed on he I don't remember him being concerned about how the other people perceived him you know if we just that's my faith going forward this part so that I'm not concerned as to how people perceive me as long as the Lord has given me the territory it settles it it's mine
Because Joshua head face I I don't know that the Lord chose him because of faith our confidence in him that he was bestowed leading Israel out but I'd like to believe it correct correct me Holy Spirit that he chooses the humble he chooses the foolish to shame the wise because the other spies they were wise in their eyes they calculated their risk and then they said no the the risk is not justifiable it is very costly but but Joshua says there's this one possibility that that we can explore if he has been faithful before even in this impossible he will make it possible then was Joshua risk averse ohh was Joshua drowned in the confidence of God I think it was he was soaked in the confidence of God he was soaked in the concept for incidence of of God's word
Joshua was confident in the nature of God in the promises of God and in the word of God and in the actions of God he was confident in those and I'm learning that a covenant is a treaty that has got important consequences if one violated but also part of the covenant is the special grace and special merciful arrangements in it that capacity to us to thrive
Study Abrahamic covenant. I am covered for life. God convenes the covenant. My mom's land is for generations not a once off thing. I was used for the conquest and the distribution land. You fight for the inheritance of the land.
Yahweh is a covenant making and a relational God.
 I serve the living God so I did not give my mother land the Lord gave my mother land because of the arbra high because the abrahamic covenant that has the mercy of God and the love of God. God gave God gave the land to my mother because of the abrahamic covenant nothing but the Lord gave me properties and the land because of the abrahamic covenant nothing more nothing less
So the Lord gave me and my mother Land way back.............in Abraham. I just had to be obedient to be a vehicle used in serving the Lord
Land is an inheritance
I forgive my mothers financial abuse that made my heart harden towards her
Being strong also means being alert
Be careful to do the word of God
I play a crucial leadership role
The Lord's blessings are tangible
Yahweh is a promise keeping God
This land is an inheritance from my Father God to my mother. God gives us victory,
He alone is responsible for fulfilling the promise
Take possession of my inheritance
What is the ancient promise i have in God?
Covenant = death if not honoured
1 Corinthians verse 27Â But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
I was once dumped by Thembelani because he had issues with me paying my tithe, he had issues with me being born again, he had issues with born again pastors, he cursed them, he cursed everything, he detested everything and he did not choose me after I chose God over him. Five years later he gets stripped to nothing by a halogen girl and leaves him in debt, couldn't even afford buying a gate for his house, gets robed 80,000 by Nigerian. Gets fired at work and implicated for nepotism. 80,000 that he saved for his car then he gets married to wicked woman that uses traditional medicine to win his affection and love. Loses many kids to miscarriage, gets divorced now he's no longer attending family meetings it's no longer close to his family.
In the past five years the Lord heals me of depression two times, the Lord blesses me with two cars, the Lord blesses me with a 210k Provident fund payout, the Lord blesses me with three properties the Lord, blesses me with education, weightloss, a beautiful daughter, the Lord blesses me with influence, the Lord blesses me with many things and favour and many bursaries and grants within the five years and he protects me from and unruly man that don't fear him. The sister said if you were not if you were there the attacks would have not been as heavy because you would have interceded for him unlike a person who never interceded for him which opened the heavy door of abuse and attack in his life. The girl he chose sacrificed her relationship in God. Did all the rituals and she failed. I STOOD MY GROUND IN FAITH AND IT PAYED OFF.
03/04/2024 I started well then I stressed with who Stani is in my life.....Yhooo my thoughts ran wild and negative. Now 18h25 I am focusing on taming my thoughts and planting kind thoughts through the Word of God. Going back to resting in God.
EMBARKING ON A FAST TO BE PATIENT WITH MYSELF. I NEED TO BE PATIENT WITH MYSELF BECAUSE GOD HAS HEALED THAT 2 TIMES WORK DEPPRESSION. PATIENT WITH MY ACCEPTANCE OF THE WORD.
04/04/2024 - Embark on a fast to be patient with myself. I prayed earnestly and long for patience. I am still digging deep. I was tested to be patient with my mother and I reported the matter to God and he solved it. An hour later we had a decent and fruitful conversation. Uye waziyekela yena ukuqumba.
PATIENCE IS A GRACE NOT A SKILL
06/04/2024
STILL MEDITATING ON PATIENCE IN HEBREW
Lord I pray for the ability wait quitely and calmly without complaining
Lord I pray for immeasurable deposits of patience in my mind, heart and spirit
Lord I pray never to get tired of being patient towards myself and humanity
Lord teach me how to be patient towards myself and other through the Holy Spirit who is my greatest teacher. In Jesus name Amen.
07/04/2024
I prayed for the staying and finishing grace. I released Thembelani to find a loving and caring wife.
08/04/2024
Still meditating on patience. Great focus is fortitude.