How Muslims see us!!

Case 1

Amna is a 15-year-old girl who was born and brought up in the USA by a Muslim family. Her parents migrated to the USA from Pakistan 20 years ago and are naturalized citizens. Amna visits her extended family in Pakistan every couple of years. She considers herself an American Muslim. Her parents have strong ties with the Muslim community in the neighborhood and frequently visit the local mosque for prayers and other religious activities.

Amna grew up in an environment which promoted “otherness” from a very early age. She used to bring lunch from home as she was not allowed to eat non-halal food at school. Her parents regularly reminded her that food can be shared with Muslim friends but not with “others.” She was expected to take a shower on returning home to clean herself because of the unavailability of water in the school restrooms. Her parents told her that “others” could use toilet paper but not “us.” She was encouraged to make same gender Muslim friends and would only visit them as playdates. She was friendly with “others” but with restrictions. Her parents believed in staying united with the Muslim community especially after 9/11. “Due to the wrongdoings of some so-called Muslims, the entire community is blamed and scrutinized,” they told her frequently. They encouraged her to speak English at all times when in public as “we don’t want to make them suspicious.”

On approaching adolescence, Amna had many questions about these restrictions. She couldn’t understand her parents’ resistance towards mingling with “others.” She blamed them for her not being able to make many friends in school. She also blamed them for her not being on the gymnastics team due to the dress code. She blamed them for making her “different” from the others. Simultaneously though, she failed to understand why the First Amendment and freedom of expression did not apply for her. She questioned why she was not accepted for who she was by everyone, why the school wouldn’t allow her flexibility in dress code for the gymnastics class, and why each new teacher at the beginning of school year asked her where she was from even though she was as American as the rest of her class. Her parents wanted her to start wearing a head scarf but she wasn’t ready to add another “difference.”

Amna’s racial identity began to form as early as Piaget’s pre-operational stage from the time she joined school and her lunch was different from that of “others.” This continued into late pre-operational and operational stages when her friends’ circle was defined by her religion. From an ecological perspective, Amna’s relationships were significantly affected at multiple levels. Her microsystem, which included her school, was influenced as Amna was unable to develop a healthy interaction with her peers due to social differences. She did not “fit in” with the peer group, leading to social isolation. Her peers were also unable to develop a connection with her due to these differences. This distance not only compromised daily interaction between Amna and her peers but also made Amna vulnerable to bullying. At home, Amna blamed her parents for creating these boundaries and also blamed them for her social isolation. Her parents’ inability to understand her conflictual situation made them believe that she is being recalcitrant, which led to stricter restrictions being imposed on her. At the level of her mesosystem, her relationship with her neighbors and society in general (part of the exosystem) were also affected, reflected in her discomfort speaking her native language in public, and praying in public places. Amna’s case brings to light the importance of strategic measures in preventing the development of Islamophobia in children and adolescents. Educational, judicial, and public relations-based strategies later discussed in detail can prove vital in the prevention of Islamophobia. Working with Amna would require inclusion of her parents and the school. It would be essential to initiate conversations with parents about their perception of the problem. Similarly it would be important to discuss the impact of Islamophobia on Amna. Parents may not be aware of the gravity of the situation and initiating a family dialogue would be a crucial step in aiding Amna with this struggle. It is essential that these conversations are kept open, nonjudgmental, and unbiased, approaching them in a culturally informed and sensitive manner. It would also be important to watch for conflicts arising within the family unit and addressing them using the principles of family therapy to ensure and facilitate communication. As an adolescent, Amna could initiate similar dialogues at school platforms like debates, class presentations, and social projects. An important role of the clinician would be to guide her in approaching these initiatives in a non-threatening and nondefensive manner so as to promote objectivity and a safe space for all viewpoints.

Case 2 Adam is a 16-year-old boy who was born and brought up in Australia by Muslim parents of Turkish origin. Adam’s parents migrated around 18 years ago for better work-related opportunities. His parents have maintained limited interaction with the Turkish and Muslim communities in the neighborhood. Their only visit to the local mosque is at the time of “Eid,” a biannual religious event. They introduce themselves using their nicknames which don’t sound Muslim or Turkish. They are very active in the neighborhood which is predominantly “white” and take part in all local cultural activities and festivities in town. Growing up, religion was not central in Adam’s household. He knew he was a Muslim, but there were no restrictions on Adam based on religious observances. He was very well adjusted in his surroundings and his school. In discussions about events related to Muslims in the media, Muslims who initiated trouble were considered to be “others,” and their miscreant activities frowned upon. Adam was going through the usual adolescent identity-related conflicts. The situation changed after a terrorist attack in which the terrorist was identified as a Muslim of Turkish origin. Adam went to the school the next day and felt some uneasiness among his friends. He couldn’t identify the reason till he found “terrorist” painted on his locker at home time. Adam was shocked by this event. He went home in a disturbed state but couldn’t tell his parents about the incident. He questioned why his parents denied their identity and whether that was for better or worse. He also questioned why his friends did not want to be associated with him anymore and why they became uncomfortable with his presence. He started questioning his identity – whether he was Turkish, Australian, or Muslim – and struggled with reasons for being blamed for an incident which had nothing to do with him. He questioned his own hypocrisy as to why it was okay for him to stereotype and judge other Muslims but did not want his friends to stereotype him based on his ancestry. He was deeply disturbed by the conflict and started being truant. His parents were concerned but Adam would not share his consternation with them. This continued for a couple of weeks until his parents decided to take him to a therapist. Before the incident, Adam identified himself as “other” despite having a Muslim background. He did not face any conflicts associated with being a Muslim, but we can hypothesize that his racial identity formation was also affected leading to prejudice against Muslims. We do not find any evidence of development of prejudice in the early and late pre-operational stages, but in the operational stage and later, Adam became prejudiced against Muslims and became involved in bullying Muslim kids in school. A similar phenomenon can occur in non-Muslim children who develop prejudice against Muslims in their developmental years. After the incident, the categorization of “us versus them” became prominent, pushing Adam to the opposite side due to his Muslim characteristics. For Adam, the disruption at the level of the macrosytem had a ripple effect on all the levels underneath including exosystem, mesosystem, and microsystem. Due to the terror attack, political and historical beliefs about Muslims resurfaced, with a grave impact on Adam. His neighborhood became hypervigilant about Muslims and “Muslim looking” individuals as the government started taking stricter measures related to security. His schools and peers started overtly wondering about his demographics, including his country of origin, his parents’ occupation, and his religious affiliations. Adam started feeling isolated, feared expressing his opinion among peers, felt betrayed by his fellow mates, and was bullied by other pupils. His relationship with his family was compromised as a result of this, leading to fragmentation at the level of microsystem. In working with both Amna and Adam, a clinician would need to focus on the developmental stage of the adolescent, including elements of race, identity, morality, and nationality. Where adults may have stable and fixed notions of belonging to certain groups, children and young adults are still trying to negotiate their ecosystem, and their rightful place in it; being “in” or “out” of their peer groups is of paramount significance to them. By contrast to their work with adults, a clinician must address these concerns and conflicts with adolescents, giving them space and permission to express themselves in relation to opposing viewpoints and stances. Management must focus on all system levels; parents and schools must be the center point in treatment plans. Focused family therapy would address open communication around fears, intergenerational conflicts, and pragmatic ways of reaching consensus. A clinician must work towards confidence building of the adolescent so as to empower her/him in responding to situations at the school, neighborhood, and beyond. For children to cope with challenging circumstances, attachment to at least one caring adult is critically important [16, 17, 18]. A study from World War II concluded that separation from family caused a greater strain among children than air strikes [19]. This highlights the importance of a comforting relationship between a developing child and a caregiver when dealing with a stressor like Islamophobia. From an ecological perspective, conflict at the level of microsystem can cause emotional and social strain which may lead to social isolation, behavioral issues, and poorer mental health outcomes. Other outcomes of an impaired relationship with the environment at various levels which may contribute to the development of low self-esteem in children and adolescents include [20]: